The takeaway from the time I spent working with my client on this conundrum was this:ce instead of focusing on the pain and loss we’re experiencing in the present moment.
Fear is a great immobilizer, despite our fight or flight response.
While boys are taught that being a man is inherently linked to shunning emotionality in favor of autonomy (no matter the cost), girls are conditioned to overly attend to the needs of others so as to ensure they are “friends with everyone” and “liked by all.” When girls and boys are not offered healthy buffers to such cultural influences these tendencies go into hyper-drive.Women caught in this circular thinking rarely experience a happy romantic ending. But her behavior also puts attention on him and gives him a sense of importance he is not capable of achieving in any other way.Typically, they are left feeling not good enough and frustrated that they cannot have their needs met. As I describe in my my book, a woman who chronically pursues emotionally unavailable men only lives out one small part of what it means to be female.This is problematic because women who do not have partnerships with men who are “partners” in the true sense of the word have difficulty excelling and achieving both professionally and personally.This is particularly true when they are also parents and responsible for small children.